Religion / Constitutional Rights / Freedom

When YOUR religion interferes with MY constitutional rights, it's time to declare your religion anti-American, a threat to Democracy and end your Tax Exemptions.

 If you can't separate your church/religion from your state/county/local government job then it's time also to terminate your employment immediately.

Superfund Sites in New Jersey Clearly Causing Issues with Public Figures

As Superfund Cleanup sites around New Jersey continue to be ignored or fines paid off (the politicians, not the actual fines owed) in an epic short sighted way (such as the Exxon facility in Linden, New Jersey), a recent study published by The Center for Chemical Contamination in Brain Chemistry of Mentally Degenerate Politicians (aka CFCCBCMDP), released a report on two political leaders from New Jersey that are showing epic brain cell disruptions in dramatically public ways.

With the addition of Chris Christie (born at the Newark Superfund area) and Antonin Scalia (born at the Trenton multiple Superfund sites) who have given profoundly gibberished public statements over the past five days, the displayed signs of such chemical contamination has alarmed scientists.

CFCCBCMDP Chief Scientist O'man Sariously stated that the effects of the chemical poisoning apparently can morph to the point where the individuals become super narcissists and incapable of rational and reasonable thought.  The new disease classification has been coined the Scalia-Christie Delusional God Poisoning Syndrome.

Bring in the Clowns - Another Clown for President Arrives

Today in an epic move that stunned the nation, the Republican Party had another large clown step up for a performance in the three ring circus of Republican Presidential impossibilities.  Following directly after Donald Trump (the Rug Master),  Chris Christie (the Rage Master) stepped into the ring to see how many abhorrent articles he could elicit from the press while telling voters to "Shut up!  It's MY time in the Ring!".

The unpopular, narcissistic candidate of the little known political crime state of New Jersey prematurely ejaculated on the telephone telling reporters he was going to come out of the closet into the three rings while the song Send in the Clowns played across the entire earth by a satellite that he contracted as part of his New Jersey Transportation Budget.

As part of his announcement, Gov. Christie shut down all the major bridges out of New Jersey in order that voters could not leave the state during his announcement.

Known as the Garden State, the manure required to fertilize this campaign has gone to epic proportions and cost.  When Acme Fertilizer and Bull was contacted, the owner P. Profusely said "I have never shipped that much bull to any other political figure in my life!  They wanted me to give my steers ex-lax to provide a different finished product.  I just couldn't do that to my cattle."

Sadly, the oxygen that has been depleted from the region due to this blow hard and self proclaimed candidate has caused an Air Quality Warning to be issued for the entire region by the US Weather Service.

Dear LGBTQ - Your Welcome.

Some days, you just have to say 'Your Welcome' even though 'Thank You' was never expressed for the deep equality work accomplished, for the time expended as an advocate, the impacts and education that happened with literally millions of people, for the personal financial contributions and sacrifices made on the behalf of equality for LGBTQ people.  

So there ya have it- "LGBTQ Your Welcome."  

Sincerely,
Allison.

Allison Woolbert Accepts New Deputy Division Manager Position with the NSA

Allison Woolbert just accepted a fantastic position as Deputy Division Manager with the National Security Agency working within the Counter Intelligence Cyber-Warfare Unit.   This such a huge opportunity to really do what I enjoy doing!

Admiral Michael Rogers stated "We are looking forward to working with Ms. Woolbert given her skills and abilities to detect anomalies.  We are expecting Ms. Woolbert to be a great asset to this nation in preventing further cyber attacks and in helping bring about change to our existing security structures."

The six figure  salary is finally going to make a huge difference in my life!  After such a harsh couple of years, it appears I'll be the first ever Deputy with my skill set, gender, sexual orientation and personality who can make a real impact in the way the US Counterintelligence units do business!  The openness shown by the Admiral to change and providing a transparency level unheard of before at NSA is truly going to be wonderful and I can't wait!

It's amazing in that the NSA is working towards such reasonable goals as transparency and protection at the same time.  


Allison Woolbert is a computer technology expert who simply loves to play with new technologies and programming methodologies.  She's been working as a professional database and web developer for years and takes on many challenges that others simply can't figure out.  You can find her at Phoenix Consultants Group!

Allison Woolberts' Growing List of things to Respond to a Telemarketer

We all know that telemarketers can flat ass be annoying.  From calling and disrupting those important decisions (like wine or whiskey), or causing us to consider a product that we certainly don't want to begin with to asking us whether we like a political figure which NOBODY likes!  AGHHHHH!!!

So, this is the start of some canned things I've actually done or considered doing.  No need to give credit to Allison Woolbert if you want to use them.  Just remember- there are things you probably will get a knock on your door from the police if you freak them out to much.  

Also remember the goal- How quickly can you get a telemarketer to quit the job.  The faster they will end their employment, the harder it is for call centers like it to keep going.  So here is Allison Woolbert's list of humorous responses:

1.  "Don't you listen to national news! What is wrong with your company- She was killed last night by that crazy boyfriend!"

2.  "I'm sorry, she's over at Ancora Mental Health Facility. She went after a telemarketer last week with a shotgun"

3. "Hang on. "Put that down INSERT NAME HERE. Put it down! NO NO! STOP! (slam telephone book or large book on table... hang up) 

4. A wide moment of silence when you tell the tel-marketer on the other end of the phone that the person they want to talk to was killed by an alligator in Florida and that somebody Youtube'd it with a broken voice.

The second longer moment of silence when you ask them after they stutter something else if they are totally insensitive to the loss of a dearly loved family member.

5. Cost them major time such as on hold, the pick it back up, on hold again, pick it back up, on hold a third time and tell them that they need to call back exactly at 1:05 pm EST

Yep- so there are a few incentives and thoughts.  More to come as I get them...

You have a way to get rid of telemarketers?  Write me a comment so I can post it here!



Allison Woolbert is a telemarketers best nightmare.  She works to find ways to aggravate, antagonize and misdirect every telemarketer that ever reaches out to her telephone.  As a professional telemarketing aggrivator, Allison Woolbert has perfected many ways to bring a marketing professional to pull hair out, drink heavily on the job, throw their phone across the room, or yell obscenities at their boss.

Remember- Practice those lines so you can get them just right to feed to these folks!

Allison Woolbert says READ THIS story on EROTICA NOW!

So this has to be one of the best articles ever that I've seen and read.  It actually would work well in Alabama, and Atlanta for the most part.  I think Judge Moore would be pleased to visit and try a few things on for size in that all to big mouth of his!

As the Huffington Post Says:

"It's the Garden of Hedon!

Katai Kamminga erected what is quite possibly the first erotic garden (and teahouse!) in Southeast Asia, blurring the oh-so-thin line between sex organs and stamen. The Erotic Garden and Teahouse in Mae Rim, Thailand features suggestive vegetable sculptures, landscaped breasts and all the phalluses your eyes can handle.

"Everything is erotic!" Katai told Chiang Mai News during a walkthrough of the sculpture park. "[Even the] onion can be sexy -- maybe for some people ... Mmmm, sexy plums."

Katai reportedly got hot and bothered about erotica when she was given a book about erotic art around the world. It was new to her, and she wanted the edgy art on display in her home country. Check it out:

A sculpture of a women hugging a large phallus is displayed at the Erotic Garden and Teahouse on February 6, 2015 in Mae Rim, Thailand. The Erotic Garden and Teahouse opened in January and claims to be the first garden of its kind in Asia.

See more here at the total Huffington Post Article!

Allison Woolbert is an avid reader of the Huffington Post and other fun distorted media outlets.  Allison works hard to insure that all things printed are annotated with the latest bookmarks (seriously are you reading this!).....

Allison Woolbert, sexy invigorating and masterful woman. Goddess of the Phoenix Empire!  Learn more about the Phoenix Empire soon----  It's coming.... With flames and tears and a few little claw marks.  yep... keep them eyes ready for it!