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Tuesday, June 30, 2015

Bring in the Clowns - Another Clown for President Arrives

Today in an epic move that stunned the nation, the Republican Party had another large clown step up for a performance in the three ring circus of Republican Presidential impossibilities.  Following directly after Donald Trump (the Rug Master),  Chris Christie (the Rage Master) stepped into the ring to see how many abhorrent articles he could elicit from the press while telling voters to "Shut up!  It's MY time in the Ring!".

The unpopular, narcissistic candidate of the little known political crime state of New Jersey prematurely ejaculated on the telephone telling reporters he was going to come out of the closet into the three rings while the song Send in the Clowns played across the entire earth by a satellite that he contracted as part of his New Jersey Transportation Budget.

As part of his announcement, Gov. Christie shut down all the major bridges out of New Jersey in order that voters could not leave the state during his announcement.

Known as the Garden State, the manure required to fertilize this campaign has gone to epic proportions and cost.  When Acme Fertilizer and Bull was contacted, the owner P. Profusely said "I have never shipped that much bull to any other political figure in my life!  They wanted me to give my steers ex-lax to provide a different finished product.  I just couldn't do that to my cattle."

Sadly, the oxygen that has been depleted from the region due to this blow hard and self proclaimed candidate has caused an Air Quality Warning to be issued for the entire region by the US Weather Service.


  1. just issued a blowhard warning for the State of New Jersey- News at the Christie Presidential Theory announcement apparently spawned a flurry of fast blowing winds that was of an unusual heat level.

  2. The country was relieved today when the Republican Clown Car with it's new announced candidate went over the tare weight allowed by vehicles across most United States bridges. Given the number of major bridges that are desperately in need of repair, state bridge commissioners across the country warned of impending destruction when the Republican Clown Car begins to travel. This unfortunately has left the latest clown stranded in the State of New Jersey where residence fear yet another bridge collapse/closing incident by the candidate.

  3. Wait! Isn't Mrs Duggar the official Republican clown car?