Block It

Tuesday, July 7, 2015

Jesus Arrested!

Jesus Take the Wheel
On July 4th after a rocking good party, Jesus Christ was arrested by local police and charged with numerous offenses. Jesus was found driving Carrie Underwood around in a 4 x 4 Dodge Ram as she was hanging out the window screaming 'Jesus Take the Wheel!'.   Jesus thinking it was a prayer to answer appeared and was found in the drivers seat by police.

The officers at the scene described Jesus getting behind the wheel with no insurance, no license and no state identification card as well as operating a moving vehicle.  Due to such strict traffic laws in the state, Jesus was remanded into custody with 10 million dollars bail pending positive identification.  FBI researchers have yet to find any physical evidence for the now illegal alien and has called Immigration to come pick up and deport Jesus.  The convicted civil rights activist had been put on a government watch list by Roman Centurions centuries ago.    Israel however is refusing to allow repatriation as they have no record of his birth and claim he has been on the terrorist watch list of Israel since an alleged temple incident as well as several riots caused by his followers.

A public defender has been appointed for the convict given he is penniless and has no known relatives within the vicinity.  Pope Francis Esq, came through the region on a tour asked Judge Mohamed for a continuance until the Second Coming.  The Judge promptly refused to hear anything from the Pope who has been known to be a left leaning liberal and a friend of the so called Christ citing conflict of interests of the defender and the defendant.

Jesus can be found singing Jail House Rock by the King in the local county jail.

1 comment:

  1. I love it! Tell me he also got on lockdown for turning the sink water into wine?!!